Modi Jee: Mr Putin, you are one great statesman. I am a huge admirer of yours.
Putin: Thanks Mr Modi.
Modi Jee: Our nations are evergreen, old friends after all and you were once a comrade.
Putin: I still don’t have issues with Soviet ideology. It was implementation and execution that went wrong.
Modi Jee: I see. You see I also want to take India to great heights.
Putin: Best wishes and our support.
Modi Jee: I see the similarity between Akhand Bharat and Novorossiya.
Putin: What Novorossiya? It is the figment of the imagination of guys like Dugin. I am not into it.
Modi Jee: You are not?
Putin: Of course not.
Modi Jee: But I really want to make India great and revive its ancient glory. Soviets were our trustworthy allies.
Putin: That’s totally up to you, Mr.
Modi Jee: Why didn’t you reiterate Russian stance on Kashmir and reaffirm that you stand with us.
Putin: Is that of any use?
Modi Jee: Yes, of course.
Putin: Cut the baloney. Nikita Khrushchev said from Srinagar that Kashmir is an integral part of India and if you ever need any help just ask us. We have always supported your stance on Kashmir. The obvious need not be said umpteenth time.
Modi Jee: I understand. But still. Media is asking why Mr Putin didn’t say anything about Kashmir.
Putin: I am no fan of the media and from my experience as a KGB sleuth, I am telling you that you need an Indian version of Pravda.
Modi Jee: Oh. We already have it. And better and more sophisticated than Pravda. In electronic and digital format also.
Putin: What’s that? You folks learning old tactics real fast.
Modi Jee: It’s the Republic. Do watch the channel.
Putin: I don’t have time to watch even RT. Do you think I will have time for your Republic? Man, you folks are 25 years behind in perception management and manufacturing consent.
Modi Jee: But I am a fast learner.
Modi Jee: Good luck to you in that case.
Modi Jee: Kashmir is an Integral part of India.
Putin: Anything new?
Modi Jee: You mean?
Putin: You folks are whining like a lamb and singing this swan song since 70 years now. Even the assurance of Khrushchev didn’t infuse courage in you.
Modi Jee: But what can we do?
Putin: Well, nothing that we expect from you guys. Just stop bothering us. It’s been decades now.
Modi Jee: Hmm.
Putin: You know Crimea was ours.
Modi Jee: Yes.
Putin: And you know rest is all history, right. ?
Modi Jee: But what about Brother Nawaz, Jindal Steel, and media coverage.
Putin: As I said, carry on just don’t whine about Kashmir in front of us.
Modi Jee: But what about trade and peace?
Putin: Man, please. Happy bonhomie with Pakistan.
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